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cycle 8: episode 6

(sorry) Late posting (again)
One word - Migraines.

So, that conversation that Natasha had with her husband, Stuart, was kind of creepy when she started purring and growling at him. I mean, it wasn’t just the accent. Was it? Who was the “baby” she was cooing at? Was that a cat or an actual human baby? “Ooooo Baby, it’s your momma. Oh baby.”
Who baby, what?

Cathy Gould, Managing Director of Elite Model Management and Elite Model Claudia Mason greet the model in the ubiquitous warehouse where they must dress in outfits provided for them. Then, *surprise*, they were being shown what NOT to wear. Cathy & Claudia had them pull some switcheroos and exchange parts of their outfits with one another until they had the “right” look. Natasha, bless her heart, insists that her janked outfit was fabulous but it showed she can wear anything and make it look good and you should never criticize the client’s product.

Do you honestly think there’s ever going to be a plus-size model on the cover of Vogue?

– Renee to Whitney

Dear Ms. Nasty Prissy Pants,
1. Models aren’t on the cover of Vogue now-a-days. Celebs are.
2.

It’s time for The Challenge and the girls arrive in…a…Sears…warehouse? Sears? Seriously? In the middle of room are two human mannequins, the identical Zarian Twins. Or Zarian2 (Zarian Squared). Hey, it’s their moniker. I didn’t come up with it. I kinda think I want The Aswirl Twins back.

Zarian2 splits the girls into groups of three…

Dionne/Sarah/Renee and Natasha/Whitney/Jael and Jaslene/Brittany/Diana

…And they are given twenty minutes to put together a display with props and wardrobe (from…Sears). In the Dionne/Sarah/Renee group Sarah spends time putting together the props, because you know she’s a photog and has an eye for it. And Dionne does most of the clothes gathering. Stay tuned.

Time is called and Natasha whispers, “Wheeetneeey, yourrr suh’post to be on the pO-de-em.” However, Whitney dismisses Natasha like she’s trying to get a piece of hair out of her eyes. Zarian2 inform Whitney that her group had the best display and she would have won the prize. But the rules stated that Natasha was right. So, the by-default winner was Sarah. Which burned Dionne’s bottom because she picked out Sarah’s clothes. The look on Dionne’s face…photo worthy.

Natasha is the used car salesman of America’s Next Top Model. – Sarah

Prior to the photo shoot Natasha is shown lying on her bed studying magazines and poses with great intent.The girls learn they will be posed in drag with drag queens.

Jaslene – Nautical couple
Brittany – Outdoorsy couple
Renee – Glam Rock couple
Jael – Bohemian couple
Dionne – Power couple
Sarah – Rocker couple
Diana – Red Carpet couple“Diana, she [drag queen partner] is out shining you.” – Mr. Jay

“What do you mean?” – Diana

Air can be heard escaping from Diana’s left ear.

“Why do you want to be America’s Next Top Model?” - Mr. Jay

“Just…coz.” – Diana

And the final nail being hammered into the coffine cna be heard.

Whitney – Collegiate couple
Natasha – Hip-hop coupleNatasha’s studies paid off. She was the most convincing of them all. I had to remind myself that I was watching Natasha strut around, grabbing her crotch. She even came up with the idea to use foil from a packet of gum to make her own grill. Brilliant!

Bottom two: Whitney and Diana
Eliminated: Diana

eliminated

What do you think about who was eliminated?

Should she have been the one to go?

And check back soon for a recap of the episode.

warning: dead models ahead

Evidently episode 5’s photo shoot pictures were pulled from The CW’s website due to some controversy over the “murder scene” concept. I know that the photos were previously posted because I started to download them and had to put the process on hold. That day I was only able to save Brittany’s photo. When I came back later episode 5 was missing from the model’s portfolios.

It would seem that some found the photos disturbing and too graphic. More so than past photos that have drummed up hullabaloo (model stereotypes/eating disorders/plastic surgery). Perhaps having watched the show and looking at the photos through a more "high fashion"/artistic frame of reference the blood and “gore” didn’t really phase me. I saw the girls all made-up walking around, laughing, talking, and then posing in the context of the episode. I suppose I can see how someone, who having not watched the show, could look at these photos for the first time and find them alarming. But I did locate the photos on-line and I am posting them here.

Personally, I have seen more distrubing images on CSI. And I found it to be in bad taste to do this particular photo shoot so soon after the death of Jael's friend. However, I know the concept was probably planned and scheduled well before the cycle began.

I am not the biggest fan of Ariana Huffington. Okay, I’m not a fan at all. But in the interests of offering both sides of the story here is a link to her website and an article written by Melissa Lafsky. America's Next Top Controversy: ANTM Features "Murdered" Models

Jaslene – Pushed off roof by a model

Jael – Strangled by a model

Dionne – Shot by a model

Felicia – Decapitated…

Diana – Organs stolen…

Brittany – Electrocuted…

Whitney – Stabbed…

Sarah – Pushed down stair…

Renee – Poisoned...
Natasha – Drowned…

cycle 8: episode 5

First, housekeeping kind of crap.
I want to apologize for two things up front. 1) I am lame. It’s taken me longer to post a recap than anticipated. My weekend did not go completely as planned leaving little time to work on this post. And the pollen count has been high. Which means I get allergy headed and the ol’ brain doesn’t work as needed. 2) There will only be one model’s portfolio picture in this post because, oddly, the episode 5 photo shoot pictures are missing from The CW’s website. If they appear soon (and I’m sure they will) I’ll be sure to post them.
Now, on with the chlorophyll.Okay, so pretty early on in this episode we find out that Whitney goes to Dartmouth. And she throws in that she’s not on financial aid. And she’s going to owe her dad $9,000 for her education. Okay, going to Dartmouth is no small thing. It’s an Ivy League school with an annual tuition of around $31,000 (I looked it up) – and that does not include room, board, and other fees. I think they must be on a quarterly program there (versus semester) and she’s taking a quarter off for Top Model…and therefore owes her dad about $9,000. Right? Well anyway, I had kind of picked up on that certain smell of money from Whitney early on. And…yep, the mine sniffer was right.

Oh Jael, you’re trying so hard to get through. And we’re all rooting for you. I’m glad that Felicia taught you that broke-down doll dance. I’m also glad the other girls are looking out for you and giving you support. If I find out that any of them aren’t then…then…well, then I would hope that their picture would not be in Tyra’s hands.

Renee. Renee, Renee, Renee. What we need here with you is an attitude make-over. More flies with honey, my dear. And now you’re going all bi-polar on us. Renee, to the camera, says, “I feel like a lot of girls in the house don’t understand me. But they are looking for ways to be offended by me. I don’t know why. I feel like they just don’t like me.” Hmm, I wonder why that is. I for one am stumped. Mystified even. The next day Renee announces, “This morning is a brand new morning for me.” She decides to turn over a new leaf and be friendly with her fellow models. She starts by drawing a picture of Jael in a straight jacket. But tells Jael not to be offended because she drew the straight jacket untied. Jael gives her one of her drunken wide-eyed, “I can’t quiet focus on your face” looks. Then says, “I need it tied,” and thanks Renee graciously and props the drawing up behind her things on a shelf. Then Renee is off to fix Brittany’s hair. Yes, Brittany. B-R-I-T-T-A-N-Y. She remarks that her hair seems kind of tangled and that her weave may have to be re-done. Well, I’ve been saying that since make-over day one. And with all the tugging and rubbing that Brittany is doing is not helping. Renee wraps her head in a scarf while saying, “I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m just going on what I’ve seen in movies.”

The Teach
Benny Ninja, “Father” of “The House of Ninja” shows to teach the girls vogueing. And then they have a Vogue-off. And it was all fab*u*lis. Later they arrived at the Bankable Productions office to compete in a challenge for the chance to wing a $40,000 diamond bracelet from Angara.com.During the challenge each girl is given two minutes to maneuver, vogue, and pose her way through “laser beams” ala’ Catherine Zeta-Jones. If a laser is touched the girl must start from the beginning. Benny Ninja selected a winner based upon who he thought had the best poses as they made their way through the beams. Renee, who had mentioned how much the $40,000 could help out her family, is the only girl who did not complete the challenge within the two minutes. Which destroys the “new morning” turning it back into a dark dark clouded day. Mr. Ninja selects Whitney as the winner (let’s hear it for the plus size girls!) who squeals with delight and remarks that she could pay back her dad…but will probably keep the bracelet. Uh-huh.Alright, I have to get this off my chest. It’s one thing to poke fun (although, I prefer to call it, “making observations”) at someone’s actions. But it’s an entirely different thing to make fun of something like intelligence. But…well…um…is Diana stupid? Seriously, watch the next episode closely and maybe you’ll see what I’m talking about. She does this thing during confessionals when her tone and gestures are saying, “I am smart. And this is profound.” But the words are just…average and basic observations and not at all insightful. I do not foresee her doing well in any interview challenges. If they call Janice Dickinson in for the job Diana will probably, *poof*, turn into a box of screwdrivers right before our eyes.

Jael burned her face with a curling iron. We can all learn a valuable lesson from this: If you hair is as long as a newborn child’s do not wave hot styling implements about the head and face.

Renee calls her husband to pour out her heart and talks about coming home, telling him how miserable she is and how she hates all the other girls and wants to smack them down. Natasha and Felicia (okay, well really just Felicia. Natasha was just there. Offering moral support?) confront Renee about the amount of time she has been on the phone. They are greeted with “I don’t cares” and dirty looks and hightail it back to the henhouse.

PHOTOSHOOTThe girls arrive at the Alexandria Hotel for their photo shoot, in which they will pose at “crime scene victims” who were killed by a fellow model.
Renee – Poisoned by a model
Jaslene – Pushed off roof…
Brittany – Electrocuted…
Dionne – Shot…
Felicia – Decapitated…
Diana – Organs stolen…
Sarah – Pushed down stair…
Jael – Strangled…
Whitney – Stabbed…
Natasha – Drowned…What is with Tyra always having something on her head at panel this cycle?

Overall, most of the girls’ photos are really great. Renee, especially, gets high praise. I was captivated by Brittany’s photo. It is fierce. Dionne and Felicia, particularly Felicia, are not met with the highest of flattery. And they make up the bottom two. Felicia is eliminated. Bye-bye, Little Tyra.

cycle 9 casting

Download the application here.
Read the Eligibility requirements here.
Find a list of open casting events here.

America's Next Top Fug : Smellrose

Cycle 7's oft misunderstood runner-up, Melrose Bickerstaff, has been fugged. See: Fug's Next Fug Fug

eliminated

What do you think about who was eliminated?

Should she have been the one to go?

Leave a comment.

And check back soon for a recap of the episode.

cycle 8: episode 4

Just as expected, this episode opens with the girls sitting about the house chatting. Whitney and Diana are commiserating over being the plus-size girls. Whitney comments that she doesn't want to be "the fat girl." And Cassandra offers wise counsel to Jaslene who is expressing her frustrations about the competition. I really like Cassandra. She’s a sage and seems to have a good head on her shoulders. Something about her is so striking to me. While discussing their impending make-overs Brittany actually says these words out loud, “They can do whatever they want and I’m not going to be upset.”

MAKE-OVER TIME!
The Jays meet the girls in a salon. And they are with the salon owner. And this salon owner, like so many people in the history of ANTM, has known Tyra since she was but a wee modeling lass in her seventeenth year. It’s just a trend I’ve noticed. I mean, it is a good thing that Tyra can give back to the people who helped her along the way in her quest to rule the world by putting them on her quaint little modeling reality show. Pose it forward.Trya has done various little “acting” bits over the years. There was “Angry Demanding Diva Model” Tyra (Cycle 7), and “Pass-out” Tyra (Cycle 6). But “Hair Rollers and Pajamas” Tyra was not some of her better work. “I told you we weren’t even doing this this year because everyone always cried and complains. Ya’ll want it? You gotta let me know you really want it. Do you really need it?” Then Jay and J. start whacking on Tyra’s hair (wig) with pruning shears. Tyra feigns a breakdown and crawls off. Point made Tyra. Now please, never do that again.

For photos and comments on the make-overs please see Cycle 8 Make-Overs.Brittany says her new weave is agonizing and is shown to cry about it several times. The others complain about her complaining. Whitney tells her where she comes from people cry because somebody got shot. We'll remember this, Whitney, when you're having a bad day and crying.

I told her how it was and said end of story and I slapped her up and gave her the deuces. -Whitney

I don’t even know what the means, but it sho’ was funny!

At the house Jael checks her voice mail and learns that her friend has passed away from a drug overdose. The girls rally around her. Jael expresses how much she wants to be there and says modeling makes for a good distraction. Later there is a wonderful moment between Whitney and Jael in the backyard when Whitney prays with Jael and holds her and comforts her. Whitney just rose, with a bullet, several spots on my list.

CHALLENGE
In a beauuuuuuutiful English garden they meet a make-up artist from Cover Girl and a Seventeen editor who explains that today’s challenge winner, along with two friends, will win a photo shoot for Seventeen. In order to win they must do the best job in selecting and applying Cover Girl make-up from the spring collection that will compliment their girly flowery purdy spring dresses.. They are timed. At the last minute Cassandra decides to add more eye-shadow, was late, and disqualified. Brittany wins (even after hacking into some rododendrun) and chooses Jael and Sarah to join her for the Seventeen photo shoot highlighting hair accessories.

Back at the house Renee and Diana are talking smack about Brittany, who later calls Renee out on. Renee says it’s pious of Brittany to make a big deal out of a house full or girls gossiping. She then tells Brittany that for a 21-year-old she sure acts like she’s still in high school. To which Brittany replies, “I’m still kicking your a$$ in this completion.” Renee then flips her off. Which is always the mature and very original comeback to just about anything. Later there is an intense stare down at the A.N.T.M. Corral between Brittany and Renee.

This week’s photo shoot features each model as a different sweet treat. Oh, and they are in the nude. Because nothing makes me feel like sugary snacks like naked parts.

Whitney: chocolate kissCassandra: jelly beans Jael: birthday cake
Jaslene: dulce de leche
Natasha: gumballs
Renee: dried Lucky Charms on face. Uh, I mean, candy necklace

Brittany was just excuse after excuse. But then she just rocked her photo shoot. I wish she’d just shut-up. -Renee (Right back at ya, Renee.)

Brittany: banana splitDiana: gummy bears Sarah: hard candy and Bombalurina Dionne: candy cane
Felicia: lollipop
Did you catch all of those Nars cosmetics on the make-up table on this show that is so heavily sponsored by Cover Girl Cosmetics? Yeah? Do you meant to tell me, Tyra, that professional make-up artists don’t customarily use Cover Girl? Really?

I enjoyed this exchange about Natasha...

“She looks like Kate Moss.” - Sarah

“No she doesn’t. Do you know who Kate Moss is?” - Renee

At Panel…

Those poor girls. The contradictions they are faced with. “Put your hair up. No take it down.” Make-up your mind. One Cycle Tyra is asking for Wendy’s newly J.Lo’s locks to be slicked back and put up. And in this one she’s telling Natasha and Diana to put their hair down. And at the next panel she’ll be telling girls to pull their hair back. What, what, what? I thought it was so sweet the way Jael got chocked up in front of the judges and looked back at the other girls who encouraged her on.

“Why do you think you’re so introverted in this completion?” - Tyra

“Oh. I don’t knooooowwwww.” - Diana

*pause*

“Well, maybe some self-reflection.” - Tyra

~~~~~~~~

“Not hip hops next booty shakin’ star.” - Tyra

The bottom two are Diana and Cassandra. Poor Whitney looks like she’s going to need oxygen. I don’t think she wanted either girl to go home. Especially Diana. I don’t really want either girl to home myself. I’d rather see Natasha leave. But I especially do not want Cassandra to leave. But she does. And I am sad. Bye-bye dear distinctive sage. We’ll miss you.

Cycle 8 Makeovers

A hair roller and pajama clad Tyra explains the make-over concepts to the models.

Jael - long and dark
Cassandra - thick and curly, “think afro”
Renee - short and sassy, “think Yoanna style”
Whitney - long and curly
Dianna - blonde and thicker
Brittany - red, long, and curly
Dionne - Short with a heavy bang like Kelis
Felicia - darker color with bangs
Sarah - darker and choppier
Natasha - a chocolate brown Vidal Sassoon inspired cut and bangs and angles
Jaslene - wavy with layers

After sitting in a salon chair for about eight hours having her hair and head pulled one way or the other Jael is told by Mr. Jay that he and Tyra discussed her hair. They do not feel it gives her the pop the other girls are achieving with their new looks. So, they are going to take out the extensions and give her a shorter haircut. I was taping the show because I knew I would be late getting home. And this is the point where I walked in. I could not figure out why Jael was in tears because she was the last one I expected to cry about her make-over. But when I heard about he 8-hours and the do-over I totally got it. We’ve all had those days when we’re tired and the frustration gets to us. It was most certainly the right decision. Jael has such a strong face and it doesn’t need to be hidden behind a mess of hair.These before pictures are atrocious. None of the girls look that bad. Most of these are like celebrity D.U.I. or drug possession mugshots.Cassandra’s hair. I love. Very flattering. Love, love, love it. Renee - it works for her and makes her look more glamourous. Whitney - it looks nice. But it’s not a big change. Not a lot of wow factor here.Dianna - see WhitneyBrittany - I love the color. But the hair just looks kinda a mess. I wouldn’t even be surprised if they took it out later and tried something else.Dionne - This cut really makes Dionne stand out for me. Love it.Felicia - When it’s fixed it looks amazing. When it’s not it looks piecey and greasy.Sarah - I’m really glad that they went darker. The color makes her features pop.Natasha - Wow. Natasha just still has really bad hair.Jaslene - nice. Makes her jaw look less severe.