First, housekeeping kind of crap.
I want to apologize for two things up front. 1) I am lame. It’s taken me longer to post a recap than anticipated. My weekend did not go completely as planned leaving little time to work on this post. And the pollen count has been high. Which means I get allergy headed and the ol’ brain doesn’t work as needed. 2) There will only be one model’s portfolio picture in this post because, oddly, the episode 5 photo shoot pictures are missing from The CW’s website. If they appear soon (and I’m sure they will) I’ll be sure to post them.
Now, on with the chlorophyll.
Okay, so pretty early on in this episode we find out that Whitney goes to Dartmouth. And she throws in that she’s not on financial aid. And she’s going to owe her dad $9,000 for her education. Okay, going to Dartmouth is no small thing. It’s an Ivy League school with an annual tuition of around $31,000 (I looked it up) – and that does not include room, board, and other fees. I think they must be on a quarterly program there (versus semester) and she’s taking a quarter off for Top Model…and therefore owes her dad about $9,000. Right? Well anyway, I had kind of picked up on that certain smell of money from Whitney early on. And…yep, the mine sniffer was right.
Oh Jael, you’re trying so hard to get through. And we’re all rooting for you. I’m glad that Felicia taught you that broke-down doll dance. I’m also glad the other girls are looking out for you and giving you support. If I find out that any of them aren’t then…then…well, then I would hope that their picture would not be in Tyra’s hands.
Renee. Renee, Renee, Renee. What we need here with you is an attitude make-over. More flies with honey, my dear. And now you’re going all bi-polar on us. Renee, to the camera, says, “I feel like a lot of girls in the house don’t understand me. But they are looking for ways to be offended by me. I don’t know why. I feel like they just don’t like me.” Hmm, I wonder why that is. I for one am stumped. Mystified even. The next day Renee announces, “This morning is a brand new morning for me.” She decides to turn over a new leaf and be friendly with her fellow models. She starts by drawing a picture of Jael in a straight jacket. But tells Jael not to be offended because she drew the straight jacket untied. Jael gives her one of her drunken wide-eyed, “I can’t quiet focus on your face” looks. Then says, “I need it tied,” and thanks Renee graciously and props the drawing up behind her things on a shelf. Then Renee is off to fix Brittany’s hair. Yes, Brittany. B-R-I-T-T-A-N-Y. She remarks that her hair seems kind of tangled and that her weave may have to be re-done. Well, I’ve been saying that since make-over day one. And with all the tugging and rubbing that Brittany is doing is not helping. Renee wraps her head in a scarf while saying, “I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m just going on what I’ve seen in movies.”
I want to apologize for two things up front. 1) I am lame. It’s taken me longer to post a recap than anticipated. My weekend did not go completely as planned leaving little time to work on this post. And the pollen count has been high. Which means I get allergy headed and the ol’ brain doesn’t work as needed. 2) There will only be one model’s portfolio picture in this post because, oddly, the episode 5 photo shoot pictures are missing from The CW’s website. If they appear soon (and I’m sure they will) I’ll be sure to post them.
Now, on with the chlorophyll.
Okay, so pretty early on in this episode we find out that Whitney goes to Dartmouth. And she throws in that she’s not on financial aid. And she’s going to owe her dad $9,000 for her education. Okay, going to Dartmouth is no small thing. It’s an Ivy League school with an annual tuition of around $31,000 (I looked it up) – and that does not include room, board, and other fees. I think they must be on a quarterly program there (versus semester) and she’s taking a quarter off for Top Model…and therefore owes her dad about $9,000. Right? Well anyway, I had kind of picked up on that certain smell of money from Whitney early on. And…yep, the mine sniffer was right.Oh Jael, you’re trying so hard to get through. And we’re all rooting for you. I’m glad that Felicia taught you that broke-down doll dance. I’m also glad the other girls are looking out for you and giving you support. If I find out that any of them aren’t then…then…well, then I would hope that their picture would not be in Tyra’s hands.
Renee. Renee, Renee, Renee. What we need here with you is an attitude make-over. More flies with honey, my dear. And now you’re going all bi-polar on us. Renee, to the camera, says, “I feel like a lot of girls in the house don’t understand me. But they are looking for ways to be offended by me. I don’t know why. I feel like they just don’t like me.” Hmm, I wonder why that is. I for one am stumped. Mystified even. The next day Renee announces, “This morning is a brand new morning for me.” She decides to turn over a new leaf and be friendly with her fellow models. She starts by drawing a picture of Jael in a straight jacket. But tells Jael not to be offended because she drew the straight jacket untied. Jael gives her one of her drunken wide-eyed, “I can’t quiet focus on your face” looks. Then says, “I need it tied,” and thanks Renee graciously and props the drawing up behind her things on a shelf. Then Renee is off to fix Brittany’s hair. Yes, Brittany. B-R-I-T-T-A-N-Y. She remarks that her hair seems kind of tangled and that her weave may have to be re-done. Well, I’ve been saying that since make-over day one. And with all the tugging and rubbing that Brittany is doing is not helping. Renee wraps her head in a scarf while saying, “I don’t really know what I’m doing. I’m just going on what I’ve seen in movies.”
The TeachBenny Ninja, “Father” of “The House of Ninja” shows to teach the girls vogueing. And then they have a Vogue-off. And it was all fab*u*lis. Later they arrived at the Bankable Productions office to compete in a challenge for the chance to wing a $40,000 diamond bracelet from Angara.com.
During the challenge each girl is given two minutes to maneuver, vogue, and pose her way through “laser beams” ala’ Catherine Zeta-Jones. If a laser is touched the girl must start from the beginning. Benny Ninja selected a winner based upon who he thought had the best poses as they made their way through the beams. Renee, who had mentioned how much the $40,000 could help out her family, is the only girl who did not complete the challenge within the two minutes. Which destroys the “new morning” turning it back into a dark dark clouded day. Mr. Ninja selects Whitney as the winner (let’s hear it for the plus size girls!) who squeals with delight and remarks that she could pay back her dad…but will probably keep the bracelet. Uh-huh.
Alright, I have to get this off my chest. It’s one thing to poke fun (although, I prefer to call it, “making observations”) at someone’s actions. But it’s an entirely different thing to make fun of something like intelligence. But…well…um…is Diana stupid? Seriously, watch the next episode closely and maybe you’ll see what I’m talking about. She does this thing during confessionals when her tone and gestures are saying, “I am smart. And this is profound.” But the words are just…average and basic observations and not at all insightful. I do not foresee her doing well in any interview challenges. If they call Janice Dickinson in for the job Diana will probably, *poof*, turn into a box of screwdrivers right before our eyes.Jael burned her face with a curling iron. We can all learn a valuable lesson from this: If you hair is as long as a newborn child’s do not wave hot styling implements about the head and face.
Renee calls her husband to pour out her heart and talks about coming home, telling him how miserable she is and how she hates all the other girls and wants to smack them down. Natasha and Felicia (okay, well really just Felicia. Natasha was just there. Offering moral support?) confront Renee about the amount of time she has been on the phone. They are greeted with “I don’t cares” and dirty looks and hightail it back to the henhouse.
PHOTOSHOOTThe girls arrive at the Alexandria Hotel for their photo shoot, in which they will pose at “crime scene victims” who were killed by a fellow model.
Renee – Poisoned by a model
Jaslene – Pushed off roof…
Brittany – Electrocuted…
Dionne – Shot…
Felicia – Decapitated…
Diana – Organs stolen…
Sarah – Pushed down stair…
Jael – Strangled…
Whitney – Stabbed…
Natasha – Drowned…
What is with Tyra always having something on her head at panel this cycle? Overall, most of the girls’ photos are really great. Renee, especially, gets high praise. I was captivated by Brittany’s photo. It is fierce. Dionne and Felicia, particularly Felicia, are not met with the highest of flattery. And they make up the bottom two. Felicia is eliminated. Bye-bye, Little Tyra.
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