cycle 8: episode 4

Just as expected, this episode opens with the girls sitting about the house chatting. Whitney and Diana are commiserating over being the plus-size girls. Whitney comments that she doesn't want to be "the fat girl." And Cassandra offers wise counsel to Jaslene who is expressing her frustrations about the competition. I really like Cassandra. She’s a sage and seems to have a good head on her shoulders. Something about her is so striking to me. While discussing their impending make-overs Brittany actually says these words out loud, “They can do whatever they want and I’m not going to be upset.”

MAKE-OVER TIME!
The Jays meet the girls in a salon. And they are with the salon owner. And this salon owner, like so many people in the history of ANTM, has known Tyra since she was but a wee modeling lass in her seventeenth year. It’s just a trend I’ve noticed. I mean, it is a good thing that Tyra can give back to the people who helped her along the way in her quest to rule the world by putting them on her quaint little modeling reality show. Pose it forward.Trya has done various little “acting” bits over the years. There was “Angry Demanding Diva Model” Tyra (Cycle 7), and “Pass-out” Tyra (Cycle 6). But “Hair Rollers and Pajamas” Tyra was not some of her better work. “I told you we weren’t even doing this this year because everyone always cried and complains. Ya’ll want it? You gotta let me know you really want it. Do you really need it?” Then Jay and J. start whacking on Tyra’s hair (wig) with pruning shears. Tyra feigns a breakdown and crawls off. Point made Tyra. Now please, never do that again.

For photos and comments on the make-overs please see Cycle 8 Make-Overs.Brittany says her new weave is agonizing and is shown to cry about it several times. The others complain about her complaining. Whitney tells her where she comes from people cry because somebody got shot. We'll remember this, Whitney, when you're having a bad day and crying.

I told her how it was and said end of story and I slapped her up and gave her the deuces. -Whitney

I don’t even know what the means, but it sho’ was funny!

At the house Jael checks her voice mail and learns that her friend has passed away from a drug overdose. The girls rally around her. Jael expresses how much she wants to be there and says modeling makes for a good distraction. Later there is a wonderful moment between Whitney and Jael in the backyard when Whitney prays with Jael and holds her and comforts her. Whitney just rose, with a bullet, several spots on my list.

CHALLENGE
In a beauuuuuuutiful English garden they meet a make-up artist from Cover Girl and a Seventeen editor who explains that today’s challenge winner, along with two friends, will win a photo shoot for Seventeen. In order to win they must do the best job in selecting and applying Cover Girl make-up from the spring collection that will compliment their girly flowery purdy spring dresses.. They are timed. At the last minute Cassandra decides to add more eye-shadow, was late, and disqualified. Brittany wins (even after hacking into some rododendrun) and chooses Jael and Sarah to join her for the Seventeen photo shoot highlighting hair accessories.

Back at the house Renee and Diana are talking smack about Brittany, who later calls Renee out on. Renee says it’s pious of Brittany to make a big deal out of a house full or girls gossiping. She then tells Brittany that for a 21-year-old she sure acts like she’s still in high school. To which Brittany replies, “I’m still kicking your a$$ in this completion.” Renee then flips her off. Which is always the mature and very original comeback to just about anything. Later there is an intense stare down at the A.N.T.M. Corral between Brittany and Renee.

This week’s photo shoot features each model as a different sweet treat. Oh, and they are in the nude. Because nothing makes me feel like sugary snacks like naked parts.

Whitney: chocolate kissCassandra: jelly beans Jael: birthday cake
Jaslene: dulce de leche
Natasha: gumballs
Renee: dried Lucky Charms on face. Uh, I mean, candy necklace

Brittany was just excuse after excuse. But then she just rocked her photo shoot. I wish she’d just shut-up. -Renee (Right back at ya, Renee.)

Brittany: banana splitDiana: gummy bears Sarah: hard candy and Bombalurina Dionne: candy cane
Felicia: lollipop
Did you catch all of those Nars cosmetics on the make-up table on this show that is so heavily sponsored by Cover Girl Cosmetics? Yeah? Do you meant to tell me, Tyra, that professional make-up artists don’t customarily use Cover Girl? Really?

I enjoyed this exchange about Natasha...

“She looks like Kate Moss.” - Sarah

“No she doesn’t. Do you know who Kate Moss is?” - Renee

At Panel…

Those poor girls. The contradictions they are faced with. “Put your hair up. No take it down.” Make-up your mind. One Cycle Tyra is asking for Wendy’s newly J.Lo’s locks to be slicked back and put up. And in this one she’s telling Natasha and Diana to put their hair down. And at the next panel she’ll be telling girls to pull their hair back. What, what, what? I thought it was so sweet the way Jael got chocked up in front of the judges and looked back at the other girls who encouraged her on.

“Why do you think you’re so introverted in this completion?” - Tyra

“Oh. I don’t knooooowwwww.” - Diana

*pause*

“Well, maybe some self-reflection.” - Tyra

~~~~~~~~

“Not hip hops next booty shakin’ star.” - Tyra

The bottom two are Diana and Cassandra. Poor Whitney looks like she’s going to need oxygen. I don’t think she wanted either girl to go home. Especially Diana. I don’t really want either girl to home myself. I’d rather see Natasha leave. But I especially do not want Cassandra to leave. But she does. And I am sad. Bye-bye dear distinctive sage. We’ll miss you.